Friday, May 29, 2009

Brooklyn Bike Jumble and Top 20 FREAKIEST!

For those of you in the area I HIGHLY suggest you make it a point to attend the first annual Brooklyn Bike Jumble this Sunday. It's going to be a bike swap/show of sorts which should be interesting. Not only can you score some undoubtedly great deals on killer bike swag, but there's going to be a competition of sorts for various bicycle porn. From what I hear the categories are:

Best In Show
Most NY bike
Best as-found
Best Restoration

Should be pretty bitchin'! I hear the fellas from Via Bicycle out of Philly will be on hand as well- awesome!

I think people are bringing their bike collections out in force. Which makes me want to do the same but I'm not sure if it's going to happen. That and I really want to take a lot of photos to show all ya'll mofoz..


The Mutandem made it into matadorlife's

'Photo Essay: 20 of the Freakiest Custom Bikes on the Road'

Check out my dumbass on the front fuckin' page!!!

Thanks again to Morgan for dealing with my redonkulous camera when I axed him to take a snap for me! and to Lyle for referring Matador to the whereabouts of the Mutandem!!

Anyways, you should def take a look cause there's some other really great WTF?! type whips in there :-D

UPDATE: Holy Fuck! I'm on treehugger too!! <:-0


Thursday, May 28, 2009


I mean, you can't not love it!

Speaking of Dick Power.. My buddy Luis took me out for some deenerr (dinner via spanish accent) for my my bday (Tuesday) to Barberry (formerly Zippe Zappe (( same owners)) ) and I have to say, there's nothing like a sizzling wrought iron skillet full of 7 different kinds of roast beast to replenish a shriveled nutsack after hard nights werk..

Not to say that has any bearing on reality of course but whenever I nosh on some super gnarly viddles like that I feel as though I could blast out one of those huge fake loads for reals..

BTW, can someone please explain what the allure is of shit like that is?! Those along with ass to mouth, cum swapping and gaping anal videos just boggle my mind with how unconscionably disgusting they are. Nevermind the level of grievousness they project towards women. Not to say that I'm not occasionaly guilty of the same thing, but that is some seriously BEYOND next level shit man!


Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Just because you think something would look cool..

..doesn't mean it will be once you build it up:

"track ready rig. Race it, commute on it, stand and pose with will be envied"

Nuff said suhyn! Ahm gone-sta git it nawh!!

Some selling point huh?

Oh and the clincher:

"Obey your inner messenger and get this one while it last."

Leave off the last 'S' for savings!

Oh or better still- shop smart, shop S-Mart!

I honestly would LOVE nothing more than to get my hands on one of these bikes with all the gold shit on it. I'm in dire need of a new blog headline photo STAT!!! But more like the older one. Though in the case of this one something tells me they're just selling it after realizing how freaking lame it looks and are like- Oh I bet some trendy unsuspecting douchetard out there would think it was super radical and totally tubular..


Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Nice vintage Cinelli Track but..

UPDATE: Thanks to Maththththth and erna for photos to clear up my confusion:

So obviously the one I was questioning below is just missing the little 'C' button decal..

..what is going on with that rear seat stay??

More specifically, it looks like there's a seat binder bolt but also another bolt of some sort to attach the rear stay to the ST. Granted it's a shitty photo at best but I've seen these Cinelli's in person and don't recall seeing one with anything like that going on..


Saturday, May 23, 2009

Holy fuck that's one HOTT Merckx!

Very sexy!


Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Krazy-Funny-RAD SHIT ahm lookin' right now and getting turned on and or off by..

First of all- why, why, why, WHY! Must every sick ass MFing tandem be the wrong size?!!!!

I mean check out the bottom flat areo tubing with the dual down tubes- FRAK-KING GOOOORRRGEOUSSSZZ!!! I would pick that up without even thinking, kind of like everything else I own, if the captain were only a couple of CM smaller! FUCK, I just noticed the dual rear brake! KILLIN' MEEE!!!!

I ALMOST didn't bother posting this up here thinking- 2 1/2 inches over my preferred ride height wouldn't be that bad now would it?? Stupid 27" rims..


A beautiful Nago:

UGLIEST paint job EVAR!

One wickerd bike:

Hotta indeed!

Get your WRFF on!

..or you can just learn how to ride a skateboard and be like 110% less than a complete douchebag

Then there's this:

Which lead me to this on their website:

Yeah, I used to have a poster of one of those hanging up right next to the Lambo..

After seeing that one I knew I had to satisfy my raging car hard-on with something even tastier. Which is when I feasted my hungry eyes on this Nitrous injected 800hp wet freaking dream of a whip:

Nothing would please me more than to beat the living piss out of that fucking thing!

Oh and am I the only one who's jaw dropped at what the ending price for this OG aluminum jammy went for that I mentioned a little while back?

Yeah, I could think of juuuuuuust a few things I'd rather do with nearly 8Gz...

Lastly, I found this site last night and they've got some really, really ridiculous and or gnarly bikes going on..


aaaand GNARLY:

..or vise versa. Take your pick..


Tuesday, May 19, 2009

If you're gonna try and sell something..

..that's NOT WORTH ANYWHERE NEAR WHAT YOU'RE ASKING without the use of some juicy melons etc, you can at least appeal to a customers nerdier side by tossing as Imperial AT-ST (All Terrrain Scout Transport) trying to slay a stack of cash with eyeballs:

So amazing!

Speaking of amazing, here's something for those of you who were disappointed with the cheesy melon joke:


Now if looking at those fucking mmmmilk bags don't make you want to die from autoerotic asphyxiation I don't know what will...


ooooooh MAN! That is one sweet 80's chrome Pinarello!


Monday, May 18, 2009

Wwwwaaaaaaiiit a minute!!

Seen at a Walgreens yesterday:

I have to say that's an oddly queer image to be using on a shitty $5.99 cable lock..


More like lawnmower WIN!

I mean come on, having that parked next to like 50 G's of caddy is pretty amazing!


Friday, May 15, 2009

As if the Cuevas find this week wasn't enough..

..check out what I just found in a dumpster on 36th street:

It's a 36" x 36" x 8" plastic hard case in good condition! The wheels roll nice and the handle is cool along with the case itself. The only problem is that the person who last opened it must have been in a rush cause they just cut all the straps instead of JUST UNDOING THEM. But those are pretty easily replaced for like $20+ bucks. It's not perfect but I think if you were to remove the fork you could totally toss a frame and wheels in there for traveling. I'll test it when I get home but still, nice FREE $200+ hard case to start my day!


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Craigslist, Correspondence and yet ANOTHER Cuevas...

It all started with this ad I found via Craigslist earlier in the week:

Then began the correspondence:

Subject: Cuevas Track Bike on Craigslist

Me: Hey man, just wondering if it's still available or not? Can you give me some more details about it if it is? Please let me know when you get a chance. Thanks! Alan

Him: Still available. This is a handmade cromoly frame with a chrome fork. Back wheel is very tight depending on gear choice and chain. I put on the crank that I used when I road this bike regularly. I will sell with a few additional chain rings. I believe that I have 44, 47, 48. I will sell with my best tubular wheels. They are campy record, tied and soldiered. 32 spoke front, 36 rear the rims are 165 gram. I have some old tubulars tires on them now, nothing special. I think one tire might be flat. Sprinters bars and track stem. The seat post needs to be replaced - it works but it is scared up from being modified to fit in my monarch ergometer. I will include a pair of my old look pedals (not the keo size, original size). The paint is dull and tired. The frame is true and rides fine. The rear stays make this bike more of a sprinters bike than pursuit. I will also include a few cogs for the rear. You can make up a bunch of different ratios from 44x19 to 48 x 14 if memory serves me. Can I meet you to show you the bike?

Me: Hey man, wow thanks for all the extra info! I'd love to come check out your Cuevas track bike sometime this week. I have a car so I can just meet you over by, or at your place. Please let me know when you have time to meet up and we'll try to schedule something soon! Thanks again man!

Him: Wednesday, I will be taking my truck to work. I can put the bike in the truck and meet you ine western Nassau or in Queens. If you plan on riding on the track, I can meet you there so you get a first hand feel for how this bike rides. One of the tires has a slow leak, but you could get a few laps in. Do you ride the old LOOK cleats or have pedals and cleats that you would want to put on the bike so you can test ride?

Me: Hey man, Thanks for getting back to me so soon. But yeah, that sounds great! About what time on Wednesday would you be available? Meeting you at the track would be cool too. I have a set shoes with LOOK cleats but I haven't ridden them in a while. I'll try to remember to bring em in with me. I'm sure the bikes rides great but giving it a try would be pretty awesome! Please let me know when you gt a chance! Thanks, Alan

Him: I typically leave work around 5 or so myself. I would be able to get to the track by around six. The look pedals on the bike are not the smaller (keo) cleat but the older cleat.
Just to be clear. This is a crome moly reynold 531 double butted frame. Built in the early 80s for sprinting - that means beafy rear triangle. The frame is very tight both front and rear. Old Cinelli allow track bars. Chrome fork. Needs paint - currently flat black. I am selling it with wheels, but you probably wouldn't want to ride them off a track. The seat post works, but it isn't pretty. I am basically selling the frame, headset, bottom bracket and crank. The rest I am selling as part of the deal because I won't be on the track anymore. I will sell all the track parts I have with the bike -- additional chainrings and cogs. The bike is set up to ride, but will need one tire. I have a few spare tires, but not sure what holds air. The frame alone is worth what I am asking if you know what you are looking at. Let me know if you want to meet. We can firm up the metting with a call on Wednesday, but I would need to know before Tuesday night so I can pull everything together.

Me: Hey man, thanks again for even more info! That really does sounds like a pretty great set up you've got going there too. I can easily meet you at the track after I get outta work Wednesday. I usually get out later but if 6 is best for you I can just split early to make the meet.. Quick question about sizing: You said it's a 58cm frame. Are you measuring Center to Center on the Seat Tube or Center to Top? Also, could you tell me what the CTC of the Top Tube is when you get a chance?

In any case, I'm def interested in meeting up with you Wednesday. Let's keep in touch and talk sometime tomorrow night to just confirm things so you can be ready and all packed up for Wednesday..

Thanks again man and I'll talk to ya soon!


p.s. - Here's my number BTW: 1.917.sorryladiez!

Him: Looks like 58 cm to the middle of the top tube. I am sorry, I don't know what you mean by the term CTC of the tp tube. I assume you want to know center of the seat tube to the center of the steering tube. That looks like 55.5 cm.
I checked the additional equipment: cogs 14, 15, 16 and 18 chain rings 44, 49 and 50. Additional rear wheel (double sided).
I cleaned her up tonight. Both of the better wheels have tires that hold air. Spare rear has a leak. I wish I lived closer to the track and could think about going back to train there.
Don't worry about cutting out of work. You can get there when you can as long as there is light out enough to ride. Just confirm that you are planning on showing or I am liable to get re-hooked on the track and think better about selling the bike.

Me: Hey man, Yeah the measurements I was referring to are the center to center of the top tube which would be measured from the center of the Head Tube to the center of the Seat tube. Sounds like you got that right though. And the other is measured along the seat tube from the Center of the Bottom Bracket to the Center of where the Top Tube intersects with the seat tube.. All the other rings and cogs are awesome man! Lots of great gearing combos to be had.. Is the crank, BB, chainring, cogs, and headset Campy as well?

As for Kissena, its pretty bumpy. I mean, I ride in the street a lot so I'm used to it but when you're rolling at mach 2 on a track it's kinda not cool. Someone needs to open a proper wooden indoor Velodrome around here somewhere. Granted it's free and better than nothing but it's a bit of a bummer. Lots of people still go so I guess they're just used to it..

Anyways, I'm looking forward to checking the bike out along with the other parts you have for it. I'm into just about anything cycling related so if you've got any other memoribilia I'd love to have a look..

Thanks again man and I'll ttys! Alan

Him: bb, headset, cranks and hubs are campy record. Chain rings are Sugino, they were compatible and just as strong at 2/3rds the price. Gearing for warm ups and racing without having to break the chain. Racing at 88, 90 and 92.
As for the track, it is in much better shape than it was in the 80s when I raced. They took a good deal of the bump out of turn four and put a railing up so some kid on a dirt bike can't just fly across the banking. 400 meter is much too big and it wasn't banked enough to really race on. Back in the day when I used to motor pace to train, we couldn't consider the track. The indoor track has been a dream forever.
Kissena was actually built as a concession because when they built the original Shea, they destroyed the City's last track. At one time there were a few tracks around the City. Kissena was built on landfill, so they couldn't build it out of cement because of some crazy ordinance that says it has it can't be a permanent structure until the ground finishes settling - 100 years or so.
Call me tomorrow. I will assume that you are coming and bring the bike with me to work unless you tell me otherwise. I will check my email tonight.

Me: Hey man,

Sugino rings?! Oh well jeez, I'm not interested anymore- hehe, naw, that's totally cool man! I have a couple of sets of Sugino 75 cranks/rings and I love em'!

Yeah, from what I've heard from racers and friends who lived in the area that track was pretty jacked up for a long, long time. I actually remember seeing the report on NY1 when they first completely rebuilt it and was pretty stoked! Though by the time I got out there it was already cracking and bumpy..

It's sad when you think about how rich the track racing scene was here in our area and now all we have left is Kissena. God I'd kill for there to be a proper concrete track like in Trexlertown PA! I've heard that someone is going to build an indoor one a bit closer but it'll still be nearly 2hrs away. I actually live in Jersey near Fort Lee and have heard lots of stories about all the local tracks and races etc.. Actually there's this great article I found online a while ago that you might get a kick out of:

I actually went to the site of the brothers shop from the article and it's now THE gnarliest ghetto ever. What I wouldn't do to go back to the early 90's to hang out and shoot the shit with those old timers!

Anyways man, you can count on me to be there tomorrow! Just give me a call at some point to let me know what's going on and when you think you'll be there.. Here's my number again: 1.917.NODICE

Thanks a lot!


Him: OK. I will give you a call.
In the early 80s I raced Kissena every Thursday from mid April/May until Labor Day. I worked at Queens College and trained at the track a few night a week. I road more than a few Madisons (named after the six day races in the Garden). I trained with Leslie Moore the year after she divorced Harvey "Leonard" Nitz. He was the most decorated male cyclist with 17 national jerseys. Leslie was the number three woman in the country at that point. I road a 1:17 kilo on Kissena when the nationals were being contested on good tracks at 1:09. Mike McCarthy was a junior on my small team - he went on to ride the Tour de France for a year or two. I raced as a Cat 2 for two years against Davis Phinny, Eric Heiden and a few other notable people and had the opportunity to get my doors blown off in LA at the Nationals in 84. Cycling was grass roots at that point. Nelson Vails went on to get a silver medal in 84 at the Olympic games. The boycot tainted all the medals. I left the sport in 85 after becoming discouraged about all the roids in the game.
I feel fortunate to have been a part of the big time for a while, even if I was always struggling to keep it together.
See you tomorrow night.


Last night I found myself spending about an hour on the L.I.E. to travel all of 7 miles to get out to Kissena. Yeah, I'm sure there's some wonky ass back roads
way but 1) I HATE Queens and 2) If there was, everyone would undoubtedly take it.. Anyways, I finally made it and there was a very good turn out at the track as far as people actually riding goes. The dude was a super awesome guy and was cool to bull shit with for a bit. He dropped a bunch of old school names and talked about how they had to cut open and patch the sides of their jeans to get their thighs to fit, hehe.

Sometimes the best part about finding these old bikes and parts is
hearing the story behind them from the riders themselves. Something about hearing the history straight from the people who lived it gives me a better sense and connection of what it was really like during that time. I think it's what makes fixing them up and putting em to good use after years of neglect that much more rewarding. Not to mention the fact that I am now only the second owner of this bike! But enough of that shit cause I'm sure you're just wanting to just see the fucking thing already:

Here's everything I got:

A Zeus wrench, two more Sugino chainrings 49/44 and cogs 16/14 all NJS:

Along with an extra rear wheel with an old Suzue dual fixed hub. Spokes also tied and soldered laced to a Chromo tubular rim..

Parts run down:

Early 80's Custom Cuevas Track frame and Chrome fork
Campy Record hubs laced to tubulars (can't remember the name) tied and soldered
Campy Record Cranks
Campy Record BB
Campy Record Pista Headset
3ttt Alloy stem
Cinelli Alloy bars
Saddle, pedals, chain and post are all junk..

More pics on my flickr..

For whatever reason I just KNEW deep down that it was not a 58cm and would fit me. Even after I asked him about it. The first thing I did was measure it when he pulled it out of his truck. The exact measurements are 56 CTC ST and 55.5 CTC TT.. pretty much absolutely fuuuucking perfect for me! Just check out how freaking tight the geo is:

Soooo zexy!

So for all that I paid a measly $500 bucks- YESSSSSSZZZZ!!!!! Which is fuuucking retardely good seeing as how I paid $500 for my first Cuevas Track frame I bought a while back frame and fork only!

Not too sure what I'm going to do with this one yet. I haven't really had time to inspect it thoroughly since I got home kinda late last night. It felt a bit crunchy when I rode it around but should do very well with a complete overhaul. If I keep it I think I'll most likely keep it as original as possible. Maybe find a couple of NOS replacement parts if I need em along with a repaint possibly.. So yeah, now I have TWO Cuevas builds to work on. How hard is my life???


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Looks like someone's selling off their collection of Tarcks!

A true tarck bike if I ever seen one..

Another Cannondale:

He's also got a couple of Aerospoks too..


Bicycle Fetish Day! ..and other shit you probably won't give two frak's about

I started Saturday off by going to my nephews communion which was interesting to say the least.. Probably one of those things I could easily go overboard in discussing but DEF fraking won't.. Wait, yes I do! So I mean what in the f- wait.. no I don't.. WOW I really don't!!

ANYways it was some pretty fun family time at my sister's place afterwards that took quite a bit of effort to pull myself away from. When I finally was able to knew that if I didn't hustle I wouldn't get there in time or be caught up in some wicked hellacious traffic. I'm probably the only person who showed up to BFD who'd done about mach 2 on the way there BUT.. I got there at like 3pm which wasn't bad at all. Most of the people I talked to (which was WAY too many for my comfort level BTW) all said that they just got there as well. Though I def would've liked to have gotten there sooner cause by the time I did it was CROWDED as a motherfraker! It was at least double as many people as last years BFD easily! Which made photographing certain bikes a bit of a PITA. That and there was so much coverage going on. I feel like I saw more cameras and iPhones than bikes! Enough with the bullshitting tho- Pics now:






There was also Live music:

and synchronized dancing:

Though I'm still not used to the fact that my camera has HD video recording. I'll be sitting there thinking- oh this would be awsome to recor-DUH DUMBASS, shit's built in! Hence things only getting half recorded a lot of times..

BTW, not sure if you noticed how unconscionably TALL the amazonian chick playing the sax was in that video, but she really is something else. I'm 6' 1" which isn't bad, but she easily towered WAY over me by like 6-7 inches AT LEAST. You could climb around and hang off that one like a gods damn jungle gym! Ha, here's a pic of her behind Lyle and I's bikes that I just spotted on Gothamist.. Kinda sorta but not really gives you a bit more perspective..

Buuuuuuut.. as far as bike go, I wholeheartedly approve of this build:

With the exception of the saddle, post and rear tire. NOW FIX THAT SHIT STAT!!!

Dom's NOM-NOM-cusTOM-specTROM:

Did you say you got that front HED wheel for $40 bones you lucky fuck?!

This bike was SO RAD I could barely stand it! It later won for best in show..

I was also super stoked because Lyle won for best "What's the point? bike" for his tall time trial bike he built:

Alas, the Mutandem unfortunately did not take home any frilly ribbons. Due in part to the fact that they didn't want to place people who'd won last year. That way it would give others a chance in the spotlight. I'm sure if it was a more serious competition people would call bull shit but it's totally just like the most super laid back family and friends type fun event ever. It doesn't really matter who wins cause everyone's just super stoked to be there and have a good time..

More via my flickr set..

Afterwards I went on a ride with some friends to the Greenpoint dump to throw rocks at bottles etc.. Here's a snap Stas took of Belinda and I cruising along:

I have to say that the Mutandem is totally awesome for lackadaisical cruising around on relatively flat surfaces. Def need to make some more mods to it soon though! That is if I don't kill myself first for looking like the biggest douche on the face of the planet while riding it..

Then of all things I was talked into going to this bar called Legion and hung out for several hours while being peer pressured into consuming alcohol beverages of all things. It took a couple of hours but I eventually gave in for giving in's sake. If I haven't already made it painstakingly obvious that I don't drink, well.. I don't. Why..? because for whatever reason some I was blessed by the heavens above with something called being a 'Super Taster'. Yeah, I know it sounds stupid BUT.. it's true.. and for this I was endowed with the unique ability of being completely disgusted by any and all things with an alcohol base.. Please note the very first item on the top of the 'Problem Foods' section...

The highlight of my time at Legion was when my friend Leslie told us this story about some Hollywood producer a friend of hers knew who used to cut the crotches out of various womens' jeans. When we all speculated about why he was doing with them we began to think back to Silence of the lambs and the whole skin suit thing. Some of them conjured images of sweaters and scarves but it was my suggestion of a swine flu mask that brought looks of great disdain and joviality all at the same moment.. Why drink alcohol when you can foster simultaneous love and loathing while sober?!

Instead of enjoying the good nights sleep that I was SO looking forward to, I found myself having disturbingly lucid dreams. Namely being held in a prison that I was able to come and go from at the same time- DON'T START WITH THAT ANALYZATION SHIT EITHER.. I've got enough of those marbles running around in my head as it is!

The next day I drove back up that same stretch of highway, though not quite as fast this time, as the day before to enjoy the fam yet again for mothers day.

aaannnnnnd like any good son, I kept myself busy in the driveway by changing my oil:

Old oil BAD! New Royal Purple goooood!!

Oh and what do ya know my little niece took off her training wheels for the first time today!

See, wasn't that worth that whole boring lead up?! Okay, fine- don't answer..

She's turning 4 the 26th of this month which also happens to be the same day I turn 33.. Well, not that anyone really gives a shit about me anymore since there's an adorable little girl to fawn over now. Which of course totally fine seeing as how the fawning over me stopped loooooooooong ago, hehe.. ug..

In other news this video these kinda sorta completely SLAYED ME:

TRUST ME, just stick with it til the part where Katie Couric comes on I SWEAR it's AMAZING!

This one with Obama is pretty fraking amazing too:

Now if that didn't slay you enough and you haven't seen these already, check em' out:

That's just a compilation I made of all my favz..

You can watch the rest on auto play via youtube..

I remember when Fensler was first doing those about 5-6 years ago we could not stop quoting them in nearly EVERY. SINGLE. SENTENCE. Shit we still quote them to this day! That and waiting for him to make new ones was met with nearly the same anticipation as each episode of Battlestar Galactica- NO JOKE! Okay that def is a joke because I didn't feel the same dark and infinite void in my life then as I do now with BSG having come to an end.. WHEN IN FRAKS NAME CAN I DOWNLOAD THE NEXT EPISODE OF CAPRICA???????????????


Friday, May 8, 2009

5th Annual Bicycle Fetish Day TOMORROW!!!

More info via The City Reliquary

I have to go to my Nephews Communion thingy in the morning but plan on checking it out a little later in the day. If you're local you should def check it out! There's always TONS of rad bikes and lots of characters rolling around on em'. Here's my flickr set from last year..