Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Hoooooo boy oh boy.. Not making any friends with this one!

So I finally got around to watching the B.I.K.E. film for the first time last night. I remember seeing the trailer when it first came out and have essentially been avoiding like the plague. The problem is that I didn't make the association between the trailer and the DVD I was given until it was too late. Though it wasn't long before I realized the depth of my folly because I'd compare the experience to watching a David Lynch film:

I WANT THE LAST TWO HOURS OF MY LIFE BACK!!!!

Quite possibly one of the most pathetically depressing pieces of shit I've seen to date. Not the film itself of course.. Just like the narcissism and depravity of it all.. I actually think the filmmaker did a really good job with it.. I mean, you really can't say bad things about a film documenting white plight now can you?!

I reeeally enjoyed the scene where they DROVE to the Chinos event with a Mercedes and a FUCKING LANDROVER.. It's like, yeah, cars and SUVs totally suck! except when we need em' of course. I personally can't think of a better way to transport a bunch of hippie vegan, dumpstering by choice, drunken bicycle punk types than a couple of expensive suburban vehicles..

SIDE NOTE: One of my favorite, favorite, FAVORITE things EVER.. Right next to hearing about the Yankees losing, not because I give two shits about syndicated sports, I just love seeing what it does to people here in NYC.. Is when I see ultra liberal cigarette smokers. I.. LOVE IT.. It's like, I'm glad you're preaching all this wonderful shit to me but did you ever really consider who you're supporting by buying those stupid fucking things???

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for being positive about cycling, being proactive and all that great stuff but honestly, it strikes me as being a bit more like a bunch of masochists getting together for the sake of getting together for the sake of self destruction in the name of something that they feel should be heard by all but too exclusive to ever be shared or something. But you know, life is tough when you're in your mid twenties and you lead a party life in Brooklyn. You gotta stick together with ya peeps naaahhmmeeeeeaaann? Then again it could just be me because applying the whole 'outlaw' thing to anything other than you know.. being an actual outlaw.. really rubs me the wrong way. Kind of like when someone gives themselves their own nickname. It's like- you just don't do that!

Nevermind the fact that it's super annoying when well off artsy suburban kids get so sucked into the romance of a scene that they feel the need to explore it by hitting rock bottom or some shit.. As if that's even possible when they have a supportive family somewhere that they can always scurry back to and listen to them being like: 'Hurry the fuck up with that shit and act your fucking age already!' That or they exploit it and I'm stuck despising things like flat brimmed ball caps, all over print hoodies, and just about anything else with shitty graphics all over EVERYTHING. But oooh it's 'street culture'! Seriously, fuck-fucking off with that street culture bullshit!! 90% of that garbage came from kids watching The Warriors or Breakin' at mom and dad's house and thought it was real 'fly' or whatever lame euphemism kids were using in the 90's that they heard on Living Color.. Then somehow morphed all that into shitty 'art' that people are stupid enough to buy into.. God.. When is this ultra trendy poorly rehashed 80's Basquiat shit EVER GOING TO END??!!!

...sorry.. that's just a constantly boiling kettle I've got that occasionally needs to let off some steam...

oooookay now.. Since I've spent the beginning of this post being a total judgmental asshole.. I'll try to make it up with positivity, love, caring and things worth spooging all the fuck over...

First of all, I re-found this website documenting a super gnarly collection of bicycles:

The Embacher Collection


Now I'm sure a lot of you have already seen this shit but here are some of my personal favs anyways:


I hope you can appreciate my posting these photos on here since the freaking site is in flash.. I know I've seen that site before when it first came up but there wasn't nearly as many bicycles on there as there are now..

I spotted this gnarly NOS Pinarello on the bay:


But what I was really interested in is that fucking mmmmMENTAL looking green frame on the right hand side wall of his creepy apartment:


Prreeeetty bitchin'!

Also noticed this wicked Colnago tarck is back up again:


What, no matching gold post..?

I totally forgot to post these shitty iphone photos of this rad chick's bike that was locked outside of my office last week:


Well.. It had BETTER be a chick's bike anyways...

OMG and check this awesome rat rod trike!:


SO lovin' on those fatty boom-batty wheels!

Oh ANNNDDDD.. Who else had their guts completely ripped the fuck out by the shit that Boomer pulled on the latest episode of BSG??

If you have no idea what that means it's because there's something SERIOUSLY wrong with you.... and you're super gay..

Oh and shit.. I almost forgot! Check out this kick ass RSS feed site called:

fourteenteeth

Seattle Cyclist Christian Coomer put it together and was cool enough to toss my blog on there too- Thanks man!

Lastly.. I'm sorry I haven't had anything more original to share as of late. Most of my time has been spent working on my shop rather than in it. I've been rebuilding and reorganizing everything so it's more of a proper work space than just a bunch of fucking shit all over the floor. It's actually pretty damn close right now. All I need to do is find myself a nice thick sheet of steel for a welding station. I've been lurking around the backs of many an industrial building in the Jerz hoping to spy a piece of scrap to no avail. There's this place called Lewisohn by me that sells all kinds of good shit made of metal. Only problem is I'd have to buy a whole sheet of 4' x 8' and have them cut it down. Which wouldn't be a problem if it didn't cost $250 and all I really need is a 3' x '4ish size piece.. Anyone wanna go in with me on this one perchance??

In any case, once said table is completed I can get back to work on the Mutandem project. I'm also in the middle of another project which is nearing completion. Though you don't get to hear anything about that one til it's done..

Plenty of photos and OUTLAW BICYCLE MAYHEM coming very soon!

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2 comments:

Carleton said...

Truer words have not been spoken.

jeremy said...

nothing wrong with a little hate now and then... just don't let it consume you... or some other yoda malarky