Thursday, October 9, 2014

Danny MacAskill Rides the Infamous Ridge on the Isle of Skye..

Not the most technical thing he's done but the scenery is really awesome!



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Wednesday, October 8, 2014

A gnarly collection soon to be for sale!

A friend of mine is moving and he decided to let loose a good portion of his collection. Here's a sneak peak:


Yup, it's one of those collections. Should have some more stuff in from him this weekend. I'll be sure to take some nice snaps of everything soon. If y'all know anyone who's got deep enough pockets to afford a beautiful original condition Rene Herse with a ton of perior correct parts holler at me!

More soon suckaz!

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Friday, September 12, 2014

Brooklyn Bike Jumble TOMORROW 9/13!!


aaaaand of course I have a health insurance payment to deal with instead of buying rad bike parts GOD FUCKING DAMMIT..



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Monday, September 1, 2014

Get the FUCK off my lawn!

One night last week I got back home from work at like 1am. I was super tired from the long day so I was looking forward to having a snack and hitting the hay before heading back in the next morning. I'm walking to my place when I see all this commotion up the street. My neighbor was on the phone and I inquire as to what's going on. He said there was this group of drunk dudes fucking around, breaking bottles and messing with people's cars. Two of my tenants had their cars broken into in my goddamn driveway recently which pissed me off something awful. The very last thing I needed to deal with at one in the morning was some knuckleheads causing a ruckus on a goddamn weeknight. Which only served to further enrage me and it wasn't long before that all too familar curtain of red glazed over my eyes and smoke began bellowing from my ears..

You have to understand that despite being tired, I'd been DYING to catch these mother fuckers in the act for close to a year now after I first started hearing rumors of break ins and seeing empty bottles of booze along my otherwise tranquil street. I mean, there's a goddamn elementary school on the same block so there's TONs of little kids everywhere. The guy across the street was having no luck with the cops so I ran into my house, got the nightstick I keep right inside my front door and ran up the street to confront them. As I neared the top of my street I caught the stench of beer in the air and eventually saw a group of three dudes all wasted and breaking bottles in someones driveway. Once I got like 30 feet away I slowed my running to a walk and start screaming as loud as I could:

HEY, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU DRUNK ASSHOLES THINK YOU'RE DOING?! YOU THINK YOU CAN WALK DOWN OUR BLOCK LIKE YOU OWN THE PLACE, BREAKING BOTTLES AND FUCKING WITH PEOPLES CARS?!! WE'RE ALL JUST TRYING TO SLEEP AND GET ON WITH OUR LIVES. WE DON'T NEED THIS SHIT! YOU'D BETTER GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!!

At first they cowered off but after the initial shock of suddenly being screamed at wore off, they stopped under a streetlight and held their ground. They were in their early 20s at best. The smallest one, of course, threatened to throw a can of his beer at me. It wasn't until I emerged from the shadows and faced them under the street light that they realized I was twice their size, super fucking pissed off and clutching a large black club in my hand. I stopped like 10 feet away from them and I countered that little twerp's paultry threat by spinning the nightstick in my hand once and yelling:

I FUCKING DARE YOU TO THROW THAT SHIT AT ME YOU LITTLE FUCKING PUSSY, COME ON, GIVE ME AN EXCUSE TO CRACK YOUR SKULL WITH THIS FUCKING THING. I'M ONLY TWICE YOUR SIZE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!

At that point they started backing off again but I continued yelling anyways because I was having too much fun watching them cower like the bitches they were:

THAT'S RIGHT, YOU BETTER GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. GO THE FUCK HOME AND DON'T LET ME CATCH YOU ASSHOLES OUT HERE DRUNK EVER AGAIN! RUN MOTHERFUCKERS!! RUN!!!

Then they literally ran away. The littlest one was still making an attempt at taunting me but I ignored it since they crossed the street off my block. It was at that point that I noticed a new neighbor who had been watching the whole thing on his stoop. I knew he was new to the street as the house was recently up for sale. I quickly changed gears and walked over with a big smile and said: So, do you think I put on a good enough show? He reacted both surprised and relieved at my going from 11 to 2 in an instant. 'Whoa, yeah, I just got home and was like, WTF is going on?!' I introduced myself and apologized for the disturbance. Then assured him that sort of shit never happens around here and it's usually super mellow. We chatted for a few minutes and I told him about all the great italian sandwhich counters and grocery stores in the area and welcomed him to the neighborhood..

All in all it was pretty awesome finally encountering those drunken assholes. I was also pretty stoked to put that nightstick to good use as I've had it sitting by my front door collecting dust for close to a decade now. Belive it or not, it was originally used as a video game promo prop before I found it on the free shelf at work..

Anyways, it's been quiet on my street since then so hopefully it'll stay that way. Fucking assholes..

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Friday, August 15, 2014

ENOUGH..

..WITH THE FUCKING 3D PRINTING BICYCLE BS ALREADY!!!



I know, let's make a bicycle that's not only wicked ugly, but noodly as hell to ride. Brilliant!

More about this 3D printed POS here..


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The Bike Cult Show starts tomorrow!

Looking forward to seeing some of you mofoz there!

More info here..


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Wednesday, August 13, 2014

A crazy thing happened yesterday during my ride home..

I'm crossing the George Washington Bridge on my way to the good ol' Jerz when I get to one of the support towers and notice a crisis hotline phone. You know, for jumpers. I've crossed the bridge a million times and never really noticed it before. As I looked out at the dark and cloudy landscape of the city as an impending storm approached, I couldn't help but think- Welp, this is certainly a good day to for it! That and just how effortless it would be to throw yourself over the railing..

I slowly snake my way through the narrow corridor in the tower and when I get to the other side I see a cyclist talking on another crisis phone, nervously looking out towards the bridge span. I look out to see what he's focused on. There was a woman on her phone holding her head up, visibly upset. A discarded backpack sitting on the ground in the middle of the path near her. Another cyclist who had been riding ahead of me was now making an attempt to talk with her. As I slowly passed them she lost it and started screaming bloody murder. My assumption was that someone she knew had jumped moments before I turned the corner..

I wondered what the chances of rolling up on a situation like that were after imagining the scenario not seconds ago. Morbid curiosity crept in as I pondered the curcumstances leading up to the person giving up and throwing themselves over the railing. The feeling of initial freefall before being swallowed up by the depths of the turbulent Hudson river over six hundred feet below..

There was really nothing I could do at that point and since there were other people around, I figured I'd keep moving and not crowd things up. I rode a couple of hundred yards down when all of a sudden I see this kid, half hiding behind one of the cables. He had a blank look on his face and he motioned for me to stop. I stop immediately (I was riding my sweet fixie so you know I pulled an equally sweet skid to a stylish halt) realizing that this might be the person the woman (his sister I later found out) was screaming about. I turned around and went over to try and talk to him. He was just a young kid, early 20s if that. He was clearly shaken up about something so I asked him if he was alright and what was wrong. The wind suddenly picked up and began to howl between the steel girders, large droplets of rain started pounding against my face. His lips began to move but between the wind, rain and passing traffic it seemed as if nothing was coming out. It was a very intense and surreal moment. The cyclist who stopped to talk to the sister rode up a second later, looked at the kid, then at me and instantly knew what the situation was. The both of us then continued telling the kid to take it easy and chill out, it'll be okay, his sister was right on the other side of the bridge and she's really worried about him.. 

Not long after a cop car pulled up. He got really nervous and started moving off. I got off my bike thinking- Holy shit, I'm gonna have to tackle this fucking guy before he gets too close to the rail! Fortuneatly the cops jumped over the guard rail and instructed us to stay away from him. They confronted him, asking him to relax but he kept moving away and telling them to back off. Since his focus was on them another cop came up from behind him. The kid saw him at the last second and made a break for the railing but it was too late. The cops managed to grab him and take him down before he could do anything..

I told the other cyclist who was with me to ride back and get his sister right away. She came running up a few minutes later and I let the police know who she was. At that point I didn't really know what else I could do so once the police had everything under control, I continued my ride home. The crazy thing is that I wasn't even going to ride that day since there was a threat of thundershowers. Guess it's a good thing I did!

UPDATE:

A friend just sent this to me from the NYScanner twitter:



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Danny MacAskill at the Playboy Mansion!

While it might not be the best example of his riding skills, who the fuck cares amiright?!


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Friday, August 8, 2014

Sorry about the last epicly ranty post everyone. Here's another!

..I've just had a pretty rough last few years and while things are on the up and up now, I still have a lot of BS bottled up frustration inside me that I need to purge. Last time I checked, that's what the internet was for. A sounding board for all to see your mental issues, lol..

But seriously, I had a lot of poisonous elements in my life seemingly doing everything possible to bring me down. Which from the outside might just come across as being crazy but isn't actually that crazy. Case in point:

Years ago at one of my office jobs I had to make hundreds upon hundreds of photo copies every single day. Hundreds. Literally. The copiers we had were these no joke massive ones that can do just about anything and print, sort and staple wicked fast. We had like 6 or 7. Anyways, as one could imagine I became very familiar with all the machines and their inner workings. It got to the point where I spent more time maintaining them than the fucking IT department..

One of the things that drove me bonkers was how idiotic people were with the handling of them. If they didn't know how to do something, they would mess up the settings and just walk away. If it ran out of ink or toner, they would just walk away, if they ran out of paper, they would never refill them and the jobs would back up, if it jammed, they just walked away. Here's the very best part: THEY WOULD NEVER CALL ANYONE TO FIX THEM. THEY WOULD JUST MESS THEM UP WALK AWAY AND THEN GO MESS UP ANOTHER ONE..

This obviously drove me insane at times because I would really need to get work done in time otherwise people would start bitching me out about their goddamn printouts. I can't tell you how many times I would walk up to a machine and have it be busted, run over to another one, same thing, over and over and over again. When I had time I would go back and fix them all but if I was in a rush and needed to get shit done, it was unbelievably frustrating..

It got so bad that if I didn't maintain a near constant vigil, all of the machines would be down SIMULTANEOUSLY from people screwing them up and not calling anyone to fix them. Not that calling anyone really helped that much since the IT department saw maintaining copiers as beneath them or some BS and delegated that menial task to the mailroom. Which after 6pm, weren't around to do shit. Not that it was much help when they were around as they weren't fucking trained for that shit..

The other great thing was how I would sit around all day for shit to do. Just twiddling my thumbs not doing a fucking thing looking at the internet. Which wasn't all bad as some of you will recall that was a time when I would find a lot of cool shit on the webz to buy and blog about. Now here's the frustrating part: At around 6:30-6:45 the catering people would show up and start setting up the food. Usually they were all done at 7ish. Guess what happened next without fucking fail? Yup, you guessed it, ALL the work everyone had been lolly gagging around with all fucking day came through AT THE SAME TIME. It was like fucking clock work..

So I would rush and get everything done as soon as I could so no one would bitch me out about their copies and try to get some food before it was all gone and picked over. OH BUT HEY WHAT YOU KNOW ALL THE FUCKING COPIERS ARE BUSTED..

So naturally I would be frustrated as all hell at how fucking annoying this situation was I was putting myself through and would let out the occasional DAMMIT or some other completely relevant explative slip. Then sit there, open the copier up removed the jams etc. This was usually noisy because since they jammed so frequently, the sensors in all the doors would get messed up and lose sensitivity. So if you closed one of the doors or rollers softly, it would read as being opened still. So a lot of the time you kinda had to slam it shut. So if I was in a rush and the machine was badly jammed, my hastily unjamming it would sound like a fucking car wreck. Naturally, people complained:

"He's cursing and slamming the doors on the copiers all the time!"

OH WELL GEE MAYBE IF YOU IRRESPONSIBLE FUCKING TITS WOULDN'T JUST WALK AWAY WITHOUT TELLING ANYONE YOU MESSED THE GODDAMN THINGS UP ALL THE FUCKING TIME MAYBE I WOULDN'T NEED TO BE SO FRUSTRATED TRYING TO FIX THEM ALL CONSTANTLY..

Meanwhile, I'm the crazy one so feel free to blame all your sub-standard BS work behavior on me. Awesome..


So if you've made it this far you might be wondering why the fuck I've been ranting about copiers..

This is basically one big analogy that corresponds with my last few long term relationships. At first, we're awesome and everything is working great. Then for whatever reason they breakdown. Whether it be issues they've had within themselves that have suddenly manifested for whatever reason, usually growing pains, or outside forces that don't necessarily include me being like, yo, grow the fuck up girl and trying being a bit more realistic about life by not making me dump all my friends who just happen to be girls but meanwhile you can keep all your man friends and ex's around because it's cool for you to be a total hypocrite, type shit. Which makes ZERO sense but it's happened like 3 times now and is pretty fucking retarded. Then despite my best efforts to maintain some sort of rational balance and keep them a float I eventually break down myself. Rather than return the favor like a self respecting compassionate human being and put in the effort into doing the same for me, they just.. walk away..

AWESOME

Why I still bother having anything to do with women is beyond me at this point. I feel like the only reason is to please my mother because clearly I'm not getting anything worth while in long term out of the arrangement:

"But you have to have a child before I die!"

Yes mother, that's a completely logical and sound reason to have a child. To make you happy while undoubtingly making myself miserable in the process. Great. No pressure or anything! It actually might be feasible if it wasn't for the fact that 99% of the women in NYC are absolutely fucking BONKERS. Like, make no sense insane. I mean, if you guys think I'm crazy you have NO IDEA of what crazy really is. I'm talking completely made up fantasy land kind of crazy. Which probably just speaks to my luck with being attracted to all the crazy ones and not having a shit bit of luck finding someone who's genuinely down to earth, cool and talented..

The talented part is really important because when you're a creative person and they're not, things like competitiveness and jealousy come into play a lot more. But I'll save that for another biblical discussion..

Let's talk about WTF else is going on up in this bitch. The bitch that is my mellow harshed life in any case, lol!

Remember the custom Yamaha xs650 I picked up recently? Well, I picked up a couple more basket cases to aid in that build and to sell off what I don't need to some of my moto friends who are always looking for that shizz:

So yeah, I gotst a lot right now! Hopefully I'll get some out of the shop soon as I don't need to store any more junk than I already do..

I'm entertaining letting this gem go, a Calfee / Bernie Mikkelsen Sizer Cycle:

$1500

New one would set you back well over $3gz! Holler if interested: thetriplec@hotmail.com

Aside from being an awesome tool for frame builders, it's great for shops to fit stock frames before ordering by inputting the frame's geo and size into it. That way the customer gets the right fitting bike every time. Plus, you can charge em for the fit >:-]

I was wicked stoked when I got it but it just hasn't seen much use since so I'm thinking I should probably let it go to someone who's going to put it to better use..

Then, I saw this crazy packing yesterday at Strictly Cycles:

Weird huh? I mean, kinda cool but also kinda rubs me the wrong way for some reason..

The Bike Cult Show is next weekend for those of you in the NYC area who want to scope it out:

Bike Cult Show presented a gallery of beautiful bicycles in Brooklyn over 2013 Labor Day weekend. Exhibitors included some of the finest artisans of custom hand-crafted bicycles from NYC and elsewhere. Makers displayed their brand of made-to-order cycling machines, using a variety of materials and methods, where cliches like form vs. function, the genius in the details and 10,000 hours practice surely apply.

We are happy to announce the 2014 Bike cult Show to be held at the Knockdown Center in Maspeth, Queens. This 50,000 sq foot facility will allow us to throw a true gathering of the Bike Cult, incorporating events, exhibits and other shenanigans to be announced!

More info here..

If you're not following:


..on instagram you really fucking should be dickhead!

Lastly, this was a really great supportive message to wake up to in my inbox:

Hey Alan,


You've got a lot of courage to put yourself out in the open, let alone speaking openly and frankly about a profound emotional state. I have a lot of respect for you. I've really enjoyed your blog for a long time and I was really happy when you started posting again. Your frames are also sick. 

Anyhow, if you need anything let me know. I've got a truck so I can help you get supplies if need be. Being a dad of two young kids now, I'm pretty busy, but I'd be more than happy to help if I have the time. Seriously. I've seen you around at events and such, you don't seem like a douche at all, so I have no problem lending a hand to a brother in need. 

-Chris

Chris, you are the man!

..you wouldn't happen to have any cute sisters perchance would you?

LOL

So yeah, that's all for now. I could sit here and post a few more things but I'll save em for another day as this post is epic enough. Been working on getting into better shape lately since it's been retardedly nice out but I'll be back in the shop soon enough :-)


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Tuesday, August 5, 2014

CHEERS TO MY HATERS

This one's for all the doubting arm chair critic dip-tards who think they know a single fucking thing about a single fucking thing..

To those of you who were super rad and encouraging with your comments and private messages during what can only be described as a vicuously diffcult time I've been going though (more on that soon), keep fucking ruling and kicking ass in my absense..


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Thursday, July 24, 2014

Why do I even fucking bother?

UPDATE FOR YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE:

..is what I ask myself time and time again during the seemingly fewer and fewer interactions I force myself to have with various individuals. Well, to be more precise, even bother to leave the house unless I absolutely have to, lol. It just seems like the more I talk to people, the more I want to run and hide. Which doesn't always work as we are constantly connected to one and other by the webz..

Case in point:

I'm having a conversation with a 'friend' about my depression. Which if you can't tell from the complete and total lack of posts over the last couple of years, has been running so fucking rampant that the monkey on my back's monkey on his back, has a monkey on his back, til fucking infinity so tell me about the rabbits we're going to have on the farm and shoot me in the back of the fucking head already (of mice and men numbnuts). Anyways, so I'm having this conversation in an attempt to help them understand the insanity that transpires in my head on a daily basis. For those of you who've been following this blog from back in the good ol' days, you obviously know that first the mistake I made was to open my fucking trap at all..

So I give an example from the other day (parenthesis was not in the original text obviously):

Earlier today I had to go buy a part to fix one of my tenants leaking faucets. I had to go to the Home Depot because the local place was close for the holiday. So I'm walking over to the plumbing isle when I see this large disgusting woman walking along with a pair of Westies. Anyways, one has a purple bandanna around its neck and the other has a pink one. She's wearing this white summer dress and a floppy purple hat. It was like she was at the beach, only this beach was a busy ass Home Depot in NJ and said beach babe looked like a 55 gallon oil drum with a doily draped over it hobbling around with a lampshade on it's head. At first glance I'm just kinda like 'huh'. Half laughing/half perplexed at the sight of it all. I get the part, pay and as I'm walking out I see her again and those two dogs. Those two cute gay (gay as in happy you crunchy twat) bandanna wearing dogs. Through the staring all I could think of was this VICE news report I saw the other day where they shot footage of these poor Arab kids chanting: KILL ALL THE AMERICANS, KILL ALL THE AMERICANS! (or something to that effect) Over and over and over. I'm thinking this while I'm looking at those two fucking dogs. I'm almost hearing their voices. All I can think is that we totally fucking deserve it. I try to put it out of my head until I look over at my beautiful BMW motorcycle (I don't want to hear it) that I fucking love the shit out of and realize that it's the same exact thing as that disgusting woman's dogs. Only it's worse since I'm somewhat aware of what's going on in the world and not only am doing fuck all about it but I'm just as fucking guilty as the next person. Then I got super fucking depressed and went home to fix the sink. Then I rode my bicycle like 25 something miles in a futile attempt to take my mind off it. The worst part is that even if I can put it out of my head, I think about it again right as I'm about to fall asleep. It's like a pathetic fucking curse..

This is their response:

Sometimes I just don't understand why you speak the way you do- "Ugly douchebag" "disgusting woman" (ugly douchebag was in reference to a convo about my ex which you're ((yes, you)) not quite ready to get into yet)

It's all really irrelevant to the story. Cause it just makes you sound like a fucking asshole. Which is why sometimes I don't like talking to you. You can be so judgmental towards people you don't even know. Meanwhile, it's not like you're the best looking guy around. 

My response:

You do realize that despite all the PCisms and niceties in reality, stereotypes, unattractive and even disgusting people do exist right? Like, nothing against them but it's just the plain truth. It's not about judging, it's just the reality of the situation. I don't look at every person in the street and judge then on their looks. But when someone is behaving in an inappropriate, offensive or greivous manner AND they look like they fit the stereotypical mold, then how else would you describe them..? Also, you do realize you're judging me as well by saying in not the most attractive guy right..?

Their response:

I'd keep it to myself. And I don't call people disgusting based on their weight or what they put on their dogs. Listen I really don't wanna talk to you now cause I don't need this before I go to sleep

..and my final rebuttal:

Have you been to an war zone or a place where poverty and neglect has run rampant..? Well I have (Yes, I actually have). I've seen the looks in the eyes of the children there. Starving and begging on the streets for money. It's so fucking sad and profound that if you don't witness it yourself, you'd never understand. The fact that you choose to defend people despite their overwhelming grievousness is just proof of why things are so bad here. You're putting petty and shallow grievances over the welfare of others. Sorry if that makes me an asshole for pointing things out in such a manner but it's just how things are. These are the type of things my brain makes connections to and I can't help but point out. Why? Because it occurs to me that the last time a regime and it's people went this far with things like that and the many, many others, was Nazi fucking Germany..

Anyways, probably just should've just gotten high and kept all that to myself..

If any of that sounds assholey, ridiculous, speculative, nonsensical and weirdly paranoid on my part it might just have something to do with the fact that I watch too many scary news reports, documentaries and I'M FUCKING DEPRESSED AND SUPER FUCKING IRRITABLE- MORE THAN USUAL IF THAT'S EVEN POSSIBLE. Pretty sure I'm not the only one who gets like that aaaand I'm pretty sure I prefaced that before making my initial statement..

Now, here's the thing. What frustrates me isn't their concern for my terse and or judgemental language, it's that they don't even fucking realize that while they're farting around with their high minded morals defending those of us who aren't as pretty as others and you shouldn't judge people, blah, blah, fucking blah..

PEOPLE IN OTHER COUNTRIES ARE FUCKING DYING AT THE HANDS OF OUR WOEFUL IGNORANCE. WE LET OUR GOVERNMENT PERPETRATE SO MUCH BULLSHIT ON FOREIGN PEOPLES, ALLOWING MASSIVE CORPORATIONS AND BILLIONAIRE SCUMBAGS TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER- LITERALLY, THEN THOSE BATTERED PEOPLE GET FED THE FUCK UP AND THEY WANT TO SLAUGHTER THE SHIT OUT OF US ON OUR WAY TO SHITTY JOBS WE HATE JUST SO WE CAN BUY STUFF..

..oh but you should be more sensitive to other peoples feelings. Well you know what, maybe if someone dropped a bomb of your whole fucking family you'd have some more insight into ACTUAL feelings. Not this panty whipped PC bullshit that uber liberal twats out there call activism. That shit has ZERO fucking balls which is why it will never get any real traction AT ALL. Like, remember when all those Occupy kids got maced at their college? Do you know what good came out of that? Hilarious meme's. That's it. Then the fucking cop who maced them all got $38 grand in a settlement while all the kids got $30. WTF IS UP WITH THAT?! How did all that turn into a fucking payday for those people? How is that helping anyone at fucking all?! 

That whole 99% thing just failed so miserably it's not even fucking funny. How do I know you ask? Well, gee, maybe it has something to do with the fact that FUCK ALL changed or even an iota of a difference was made. All those uber rich cunts are still out there with their fat paychecks acting as greivouly as possible are they not? Do you see a slew of indigtments for coporate and governmental corruption? I sure as shit don't..

Don't give me any guff about 'spreading awareness' either because that's horse shit and you know it. People are 'aware' that cigarettes are going to kill them and the people around them but they still fucking do it don't they? Awareness doesn't mean shit if you're so wrapped up in the illusion that you still have the freedom to chose to ignore the issue, only to satisfy an urge that's been chemically programed into taking away your freedom to make said choice. But I digress, please tell me more about how you're free to make your own choice as it relates to smoking..

The real truth of the matter came to me during a conversation at my family's dinner table. Another subject you're probably not ready for. Anyways, it was obviously a while ago so I don't remember the actual conversation but we were talking about political stuff, as we usually do, and I brought Occupy up. Here's something to the effect of what what two family members said: "They've got a good cause and all but what the heck are they trying to say? No one's gonna care if they don't have a message". Another member: "Those people must be so dirty and smelly sleeping in a park in the city, they should go take a shower and be quiet". Like I said, you're not ready for my family BS. The sad thing is my family is realatively democratic with things so one can only imagine what goes on at other people's dinner tables- if anything at all..

So yeah, let's focus on defending the rights to other people's feelings. Esp the overfed, ignorant and self indulged ones that contribute nothing and take not only their share, but as many as they can even if it's just going to go to waste. Yeah, because they deserve to live and others just struggling to put food on the table for their family should have a fucking bomb dropped on their heads by 'accident'. But wait, I know, why don't we arm our warheads and ammunition with depleted uranium and irradiate the ever living shit out of the people who survived AND all their land while we're at it so nothing grows anymore. Best of all, generations of their children are born ready to star in b-movie toxic avenger horror flicks- PERFECT! 

Meanwhile we're chanting US-FUCKING-A over here on the 4th of July. Yes, let's celebrate our independence from oppression while doling out as much oppression on as many people as fucking possible..

..and then, as if that whole retarded fucking thing wasn't bad enough, I look at my instagram to see how many people don't give a flying fuck about what I do to take my mind off it and what do I see? These two photos of a bike show:


Which in and of themselves are no big deal until I read this comment:

"clean"

Now, I don't know about you but to be perfectly honest, if someone said me- We're going to have a gallery style show with a bunch of rad bikes and we're trying to think of the WORST possible way to display them. I have to say, I couldn't have come up with a worse way than that. I mean, clean? Really?! Who the fuck decides that putting bicycles on a wall like that for a display in a gallery is a good idea?! Oh and then to be like, super extra street cred cool, we're going to spray paint sweet urban city scape type shit in the background. Because I'm sure 90% of the owners of those things don't live in the fucking suburbs. How about putting a goddamn McDonalds, white picket fences and some manicured shrubs in there you fucking poseurs!

I'm not trying to say that they're not art (aaarrrhhhhhttttt) on some level, but it's as if they didn't realize that three dimensional objects if not properly lit, cast shadows. And of all the fucking things that would cast ugly quadruple shadows, are goddamn bicycles . I can think of at least 3 or 4 different ways to better display them off the top of my fucking head. Now, obviously there's only so much budget and or space but it's not fucking 'clean' by a long shot..

ugh..

..oh and a quick note to the inevitable anonoymous douche tard who's going to make some feeble attempt at calling me out about making fun of bicycle shadows when this blog headline is in fact a bicycle's shadow: IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT THE SAME SITUATION YOU FUCKING IDIOT..

Well if you've made it this far here's an update on some bike/moto shizz I've been working on:

Got some more work done on the curly frame making it a bit more schmancy. Remember these little guys from a while back?

Tossed em on:

Looked nice but needed a final touch. So then I made these little add on bits:

Now that's some shit ammirite?!

Granted I could've gone about this a better way but I wasn't planning any of that when I first made the frame so, oh well!

I also added all of those little spears I made a while back as well:

I still have an incalcuable amount of work to go on it :-/

Then here's a quick drop out repair I did for a customer:

1) Original cracked dropout, 2) Cut and ready to pulled, 3) Pulled scorched ends, 4) replacement dropout brazed in. Just needed a little clean up and it was gtg!

Oh and since my car's transmission died a while back, I decided to make a rack for my motorcycle to make carry groceries etc easier. Yes, this is the motorcycle I felt bad about not feeling bad about owning while children elsewhere would be happy with a nickel to spend :'(

Pretty funny huh? Can't even tell you how useful it's been for transporting shit. Although I def need to build a new less quick and dirty version with some added functionality. Like when I need to carry a frame home to do some work for a customer:

            Yes, I am hooning around NYC traffic with a tarck frame haning off the back, LOLThat frame came out pretty cool. Dude wanted to have his Affinity track commutered the fuck out with a bunch of braze ons. Check it:














So now it's looking all scorched, radical and ready for the streets again:

I also made a rear stand for the moto out of scrap metal for $12 instead of buying a new one for $140:





Came out pretty good huh? Glad I ripped apart that exercise machine a few years back for those curved bit of scrap. YAY HOARDER JUSTIFICATION!!

Then here's a new project bike I got the other day in the form of an already highly modified 1979 Yamaha xs650 chopper with a Harley Narrow Glide front end (because I don't have enough on my plate as is):

It also came with a spare parts motor and a bunch of other parts:

Obviously needs wheels and a bunch of other parts. The key thing is that engine came out of a running bike and has already been gone through and cleaned etc. It's basically just gathering parts, assembly and wiring at this point..

I'd be stoked to have it up and running this season but who knows. Don't have a ton of cash lately so we'll see. Worst case I know I could pass it on pretty easily for more than I paid :-)


Then I don't even know what to think about this, this, this, this, this and this..

Lastly, here's a teaser trailer from my trip to the Tultepec fireworks festival (best if watched in HD):



     Anyways, I think that's quite enough for now. More unscrupulous internet rants and dumb bicycle shit soon enough..

Instagram @alansikiric for more current updates on stuffs..

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Huh.. not mad..

It's rare I see something like this and am not immediately disgusted. I mean, it's a pretty slick mounting job after all:





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Saturday, June 21, 2014

TODAY IS BICYCLE FETISH DAY IN BROOKLYN!!

Pretty stoked on this today since it's gonna be a really nice day out! Last year was a bust due to the weather and I'm thinking this year will be awesome since most everyone missed out last year..

I'll be bringing a few bikes for people to fuck around on including the last 'authentic' freak bike I made before heading off to the Yamaguchi frame building school. Here's a sneak peak before the full reveal later on today via instagram:



..yeah, it's a freaky one :-)

I never revealed it before it's just so far out there. Like, WAY out there. That and I didn't have a ton of cash at the time so I wasn't able to go all out with the parts like I used to. Anyways, come out and have a fun afternoon nerding out on bikes!!

More details from The City Reliquary:

The City Reliquary Proudly Presents the 10th annual Bicycle Fetish Day 2014

Saturday, June 21st 

Noon til 6PM 

Havemeyer between Grand Ave. and Hope St. 

Calling bicycle fetishists of all types!! Bike collectors, builders, activists, shops, attire designers, community groups 

and all-around BIKE NERDS... 

BICYCLE FETISH DAY IS A BLOCK PARTY FOR YOUR BICYCLE! The 10th Anniversary Bicycle Fetish Day will take place on Havemeyer Street between Hope and Grand. We'll have a bike judging contests, offer bike rides, host bicycle advocacy groups and display boutique bicycle-artist wares... and our BBQ grill will going at full capacity. 

Contests include: Best Vintage Bike, Best Shiny Bike, Best Family Bike, Best Mutant Bike, Best in Show and much more! Win great bike trophies , and maybe, possibly, hopefully a bicycle or two. 

If you're a self avowed bike weirdo, bicycle enthusiast, bicycle advocate, bicycle commuter, biek nut, you shouldn’t miss this yearly celebration of all things bicycle. 

See you there, BIKE NERDS!!!!!!!!!!! 

(...Bring Your Bikes And Get Those Prizes!!!) 

Schedule for Bicycle contests: 
Judging starts at 2pm 
2:45: Best vintage bike 
3:15: Best Mutant bike 
3:45: Best Commuter bike 
4:15: Best Handmade bike 
4:45: Best Small Wheel bike 
5:15: Best Ugly Bike 
5:45: Best in Show 

Cycling, Artists, and informational booths including: 

Transportation Alternatives, Times UP!, Taliah Lempert Bicycle Paintings, Neighbors Allied for Good Growth, Coast Cycles, Horse Cycles, Velo Brooklyn Bushwick Bike Shop, Classic Riders BC, Black Lable BC , Puerto Rico Schwinn Club, Bike Cult, Bike Jumble, Harvest Cyclery, NYCbike, Bicycle Doctor AND MORE. 

BMX tricks courtesy of Harvest Cyclery. 
Music by: Boogaloo DJ Harry Ballz

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Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Sick parts I'm selling on ebay right now!! DURA ACE GROUP, CINELLI DEMI FOND STEM AND YAMAGUCHI FORK!!







Be sure to forward the links to anyone you think would be interested in owning one of these super sexy items!!

Sorry I haven't had much to post as of late. I'm always working on various projects but due to lack of funds a lot of my cycling ones have stalled out. Hopefully I'll have the cash money millions soon to get them back on track..


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